shall we talk

i know you would find here. 

i cannot compose these thoughts right in their own place

because it's too complicated.

and the following content is just my deduction with a rational mindset.

i know you well, and maybe you would not really leave this relationship if there is no huge mistake happened

u would stay at where you were if there is a place for you

it is not fair but in fact you did not choose me at our first critical point

however

there is an assumption that maybe you will come to me in the future, and we did talk about the Future.

she loves you, though you do not like the way she does

she tried to gain some weight in your life, although you regard it as a burden  

would u leave her?

i never ask

first is i do not think i should ask this kind of question, and second is what if you won't. 

besides, even sometimes i would tell myself to ask you, to not leave her. 

i know i should not click into her page and let those things bother me, but

kill myself is always easier, since i have trained myself to bear pain with no pills 

if you made a promise, then it comes to trusty

people like us who cheat, has what kind of position to talk about trust

do you include me in your plan

do we have a plan

there is a possibility that i will not be isolated anymore if i am too close to you. 

what if our position is switched?

would you still let me step into your house if i have a him

above all is printscreen of my brain, complicated and wriiten in english

for your information.